My Past, My Future
by Hannah Carrietta
Summary: What if Tony and Gibbs had met long before they worked together at the NCIS and had a relationship? What if only one of them knew about there past and had a secret. SLASH and MPREG!
1. A phone call

Leroy Jethro Gibbs had always played by the rules until now. He had always walked the straight and narrow. He could not believe what he had just done which was as far from straight as he could get. He did not have sex with fourteen year old boys, especially the younger brother of a man he is serving with. Not that he had known that Julian Mallory was underage when this had all started but still that was no excuse. Having sex with a teenage boy was immoral and just plain wrong. He was a marine, a good marine that upheld honor and the law. But as he looks down at Julian, his previous well upheld ethics did not explain the body sleeping on his bed snoring softly. He looked down one more time in bittersweet guilt and love before leaving a note on his pillow and leaving for his new assignment.

A few hours later a sleepy hand reaches out and only finds a piece of paper. He sits up with a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach and looks at the letter. As he starts to read the letter tears fall from his eyes.

_Jules,_

_I have to go now. I have been reassigned and I feel it is for the best. You are too young and I am too set in my ways. I love you but I have to go. You need to find someone your own age. I should have stopped this the moment I found out how old you really were. While you never directly lied to me you knew that I thought that you were eighteen. Yes I know now that you are only fourteen I am assuming that is the important matter you need to talk to me about. I do love you but I have to go._

_Love,_

_Jethro Gibbs_

The letter slips from his hands as he wonders what am I going to do now. I can't do this alone he thinks with his hand resting on his stomach.

16 and a half years later…

Gibb picks up the phone at his desk as it starts to ring hoping it was a case. The week had been slow and his whole team was getting cabin fever.

"Gibbs."

"Hello, I need to speak to a Mr. Mallory." A cultured voice says.

"There is no one here by that name." Gibb says thinking to himself that it has been a long time since he has heard that name.

"A Mr. Anthony Mallory has left this as his work number. It is an emergency and I need to reach him."

"The only Anthony that works here is Anthony DiNozzo." Gibbs says tersely. As Kate and Tony look at him wondering what is up.

"I apologize that is who I need to speak to. I forgot that he now goes by his mother's maiden name."

"One minute."

"DiNozzo pick up the phone its for you and after you are done you will be answering some questions."

"Sure, Boss." Tony says wondering what's up with Gibbs.

Gibb watches intently as Tony picks up the phone wondering if the name is just a coincidence or if Tony and Julian is the same person. Tony's face starts to go pale as he listens to the person on the phone. He can hear Tony asking worried if someone will be okay or not and then if the broken arm and sprained ankle was the extent of the injuries. Gibbs can see that Tony is looking a little relieved at whatever the person on the phone tells him.

Tony thanks the person before he hangs up and then looks over to him with an almost scared look in his eyes.

"Boss I have to leave work. I have a family emergency that I need to deal with and I will need a few days off." Tony was as he packs up to leave.

"Why do you need to leave and what is the family emergency? I thought that you had no contact with your family."

"My daughter fell at her gymnastics practice and was hurt. They are taking her to the hospital right now and I need to meet up with them. And you are partially right I do have no contact with my mother's family the DiNozzos but I am still in contact with my brother, sister-in-law and my nieces and nephew. As you know my parents are dead. Now I need to leave. I will call when I can come back to work." Tony says before walking to the elevator.

"Julian?" Gibbs calls out before Tony can push the button for the elevator.

Tony hesitates a minute before pushing the button.

"Why didn't you tell me it was you? And since when do you have a daughter?" Gibbs asks.

Tony turns around to look into Gibb's eyes. He just stares until the elevator beeps behind him. "Don't ask questions that you do not want answers to Jethro. You didn't give a damn back then enough to say goodbye in person and now I don't give a damn about what you want to know. My almost sixteen year old daughter became none of your business the day you left. Goodbye Jethro." Tony says as he glares at Gibbs as the elevator doors close.

Gibbs sits down in shock as Tony's response. Wait he thinks, if Tony's daughter is almost sixteen and he was a virgin when we got together. Tony's daughter is my daughter.

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This is my first fanfiction I have ever written and posted. Please give me feedback! The more feedback the quicker I can write! I hope you liked the start of the story.


	2. Author's Note

Author's Note

Ok in response to the several reviews that I have gotten.

Tony's real name is Anthony Julian Mallory and his mother's maiden name was DiNozzo which Tony chose to use when he went to live with his mother's family a few years after the death of his parents. His father John Mallory who was a marine died when he was twelve and his mother Julia died a year later.

When Tony and Gibbs first meet Tony is staying with his brother and sister-in-law on base. Tony who is fourteen almost fifteen looks old enough to pass for seventeen or eighteen easily (in real life this does happen mostly to girls but I have known guys that could pass for being twenty when they were fifteen or sixteen) tells Gibbs that he is about to start college. (Tony is able to start college early due to home schooling by his mother. He seems to me to be very smart and would not be someone who boredom is a good idea for. Yes this is possible, going to public school set to graduate at eighteen I could have started at sixteen in college part time. When I did start college at barely seventeen no one knew how old I was unless I told them and I took upper level courses.)

About Tony's age not matching on several different sites I tried to find an exact age but got different answers of somewhere between 28 and 32 now with Tony working for Gibbs for about 2 ½ or 3 years now. Tony was fourteen when he got pregnant and had his daughter when he was fifteen (it does take nine months or ten to grow a baby). His daughter is now almost sixteen putting Tony at 31 years old. This makes him 28 when he started to work for Gibbs.

When Tony first saw Gibbs in Baltimore he was shocked and did not know how to react. He quickly realized that Gibbs didn't recognize him. Tony does still love Gibbs and deep down knows that he is a good man and wants to be near him. Tony takes the job not really thinking about what could happen. When Tony gets the call he gets defensive and that is why he acts like he does.

Ok, last but not least male pregnancy is possible because in my little universe about 10-20 of males can get pregnant and carry a baby to term. It is not common but nor is rare.


	3. The Beginning

Chapter 2: The Beginning

Jethro Gibbs was still in shock as he walked through his front door. It was a miracle that he had made it home in one piece as he could not even recall the drive home. After Tony or Julian had left the office Gibbs hadn't even waited a full minute before yelling at Kate and Tim to get back to work. As hard as he tried to concentrate on paperwork the more his mind keep going round and round. Tony was Julian Gibbs had known that Julian's first name with Anthony but had never connected it somehow. Gibbs was almost positive that he was now a father. He had been a father for almost sixteen years without knowing it and could have gone his entire life never knowing that he had a child. Why had Jules not bothered to tell him that he was pregnant? Or after the baby was born that he had a daughter. Finally after a long morning and even longer afternoon of getting almost no work done Gibbs could at last escape the office and the enquiring eyes of his subordinates.

Why had he not bothered to get in touch when he found out about the baby? Gibbs wondered again as he walked down the stairs into the basement. Oh God, thought Gibbs what if that was what Jules wanted to talk about that night when I left. He probably already knew about the baby and I just left. No wonder he didn't tell me. He thought that I wouldn't give a damn about him or the baby. With these thoughts running through his head Gibbs looked over at the boat. There sitting next to the boat on his worktable was a letter with his name on it in a familiar handwriting next to what appeared to be a book. Gibbs reached out with his hand trembling with fear of what was inside of it to pick it up.

_Jet,_

_When I saw you again that day in Baltimore my heart almost stopped due to shock. I knew within minutes that you did not realize who I was but I couldn't seem to make myself say no to the job offer. I guess I didn't think about the consequences of working so close with you. I was too surprised and too emotional after seeing you again to think clearly. I never expected to see you again after that day when I awoke and found you gone. For a long time I was so angry with you, so angry that I cannot even find words to describe it. The night that you left I had planned to tell you that I was pregnant with your child. There have been so many times over the years when I have wanted to tell you about her, hundreds even thousands of times. I was scared to tell you for fear that you wouldn't have given a damn about her. At least if I didn't tell you I could honestly tell her that her father had no clue that she existed. I never wanted her to be hurt or disappointed if you didn't want her. I never wanted her to feel the way that I did when you left. I loved you and you left. It made it hard to trust you with this little perfect soul that we had created._

_My daughter, our daughter is the most wonderful gift that I have ever received. Her name is Julia Elizanne Gibbs Mallory and she was born on November 18 over a month and a half early. She is hardworking and so intelligent. She has your beautiful eyes and your personality when she gets frustrated. She even now at fifteen is addicted to caffeine and drinks as much coffee as you do. She denies it but I think she can tell different brands of coffee by their smell even before she even drinks it. She is getting ready to graduate from high school and her whole life almost revolves around gymnastics. She is so talented at gymnastics and ballet that it is unbelievable. I think she could do anything that she set her mind to she is that stubborn which I blame you entirely for. There is not a day that goes by that she doesn't do something that reminds me of you._

_When the call came in this morning from her coach my heart stopped first due to worry about her and then due to the realization that you now have figured out who I am. There is still a large part of me that is still in love with you. I don't know what to do now about any of this situation but then again I never really was sure where to start. It is up to you if you want to have a relationship with your daughter. I have not told her that you now know about her but she will know something is up. She is much too perceptive at times especially about me. So please think quickly about what you want to do about her. I will bring my resignation by your house tomorrow evening. If you decide to have a relationship with your daughter I will make sure that you have the address for where ever we end up. I have to go now the nurses were nice enough to give me some paper to write this on while Julia was in X-ray and then having her cast put on. She is almost ready to be discharged now. I am going to leave my journal from the spring that I got pregnant through when I was pregnant and Julia's first year so you can start to get a picture of your daughter. I will talk to you tomorrow._

_Love_

_Julian_

Gibbs could see the tear marks on the letter as he read the words that Julian had written. He was completely conflicted in emotions as he finished reading the letter. He had confirmation that he had a daughter and Julian still loved him after all these years. Gibbs wanted to get to know his daughter and he wanted to deal with the issue of him and Julian but how was the question. He had started to feel something for Tony and he knew that Tony reminded him of Julian every once in a while when he dropped his guard down. This had caused him to stay away thinking that he would just be using Tony as a replacement, but Tony was Julian. Gibbs looked over at the Journal wondering if it would help give some answers.


	4. Falling in Love

**Chapter 3: Falling in Love**

_February 16_

_I don't know what to feel or even what I am feeling. I wish I could talk to my mama or dad right now. I miss them more then ever now. Mama wouldn't be able to believe it, that I am still keeping a Journal for my thoughts. I hated when she assigned a Journal for a writing project when I was ten but now I don't think I could do without it. Well I guess this is a good place to start my new Journal that Mark bought me last week. This is my first new Journal since mama died and I just couldn't bring myself to go out and buy one. Thank god for Mark and Mari. I am so lucky to have Mark as an older brother and Mari as my sister-in-law. There sure aren't a lot of newlyweds that would take in their younger brother and make him feel welcome. While it doesn't bring back my parents at least I'm not alone in the world._

_I ran down to the market for Mari this morning because she wasn't feeling well. She is having so many problems with this pregnancy but at least she hasn't miscarried this baby yet. Mark and Mari will be great parents and they want a baby so bad. Well, this morning as I was heading to the store I stopped off to see if Mark wanted anything and to drop off his lunch which he forgot again. I just don't understand how he can be so organized at work but can't even remember his lunch or where he put the keys at. At Mark's office I found him talking to a new Sergeant Jethro Gibbs, who had just been transferred here. I offered or Mark offered for me to show him around base as he is not officially starting until next Monday. Mark said that it would give me something to do as I am vacation and going steer crazy without something to do everyday. We spent all day together with me showing him around and talking. He definitely is addicted to coffee. I found this out after less than an hour of meeting him. He made a comment about the lack of coffee at my brother's office and I told him that my brother hates coffee. I thought that Jethro who's first name is Leroy, was going to have a heart attack from the shock. He considers coffee a requirement for life on the same level as breathing. He told me a story of what happened when he had to go without coffee for a whole week when he went camping with his first ex-wife because she forgot to pack it. Either that story was true or he has a wacky sense of humor. He asked me about my vacation and I told him I had just finished high school two weeks ago and was on vacation from school until the end of June when summer classes begin at the college I am going to attend. Today when he made a comment about wouldn't my parents miss me if I disappeared all day and I told him that they are dead he seemed to feel really bad._

_When Mark introduced us something just clicked. It's not just that he is handsome because he is but it weirdly seemed like I have known him for a long time instead of just meeting him today. He seems like a very intelligent and almost sweet especially for being a marine. I really like him. He is easy to talk to. I am going to meet up with him tomorrow morning again to help him stock up on household essentials and I offered to help him unpack. When I got home earlier Mark and Mari were talking and he told her that they had a situation on their hands. Mark told me that I looked at Jethro exactly like he looked at Mari the day they meet. I told Mark that he was crazy but I do feel a connection. Well we will see what happens; probably nothing will come of it, but maybe. _

_February 27_

_I just got back from my third date with Jet. I have only known him for less then two weeks but it feels like I have known him for years. We had a picnic dinner that I made and then went to see a movie in town. It was really nice. As soon as I got to his house the day after we met he asked me out. I of course said yes as soon as I got over my surprise. He told me that he doesn't usually get involved with his colleagues' brothers or sisters but he decide to make an exception to that rule. When I came back to change for dinner and take a shower I told my brother that Jethro had asked me out. Mark just gave me a look and told me that he knew that this would happen. I told him that this was just a first date and would not come to anything. Mark just looked at me and laughed. When Jet came to pick me up my brother warned him to be careful, that I was his little brother and that he knew how to hide a body. Jet just said okay and asked if I had to be home at any time in particular. Jet took me out to dinner in town on our first date to my favorite Italian place. After dinner we took a walk along the beach and just talked as we walked along the water. We sat down and watched the sunset on the water. When we were sitting there at one point during a lull in the conversation he just kissed me. It was different then any other kiss I had before. It felt different, not that I have gone around kissing every guy or girl I meet. Last weekend we drove into the city early and spent the whole day there just walking around and taking in all the sights. He was shocked that I had not come into the city exploring yet except to go to the museums but I told him that I mostly stayed in town or on the base. I explained that my brother and I had always lived on bases overseas with our parent when we were kids as our father was a career marine. I was use to living on base and pretty much staying on base the majority of the time. _

_March 12_

_Mari is feeling better now and today I went with her to her doctor's appointment. The doctor says that both her and the baby are healthy and doing fine. Thank god that everything looks fine. I don't think either Mari or Mark could take it if she lost another baby. It is not fair mama and dad die and at the same time they have had to deal with this. There are babies out there that no one wants and Mari has had four miscarriages in the last three years. Mari had her ultrasound today and the baby is going to be a girl. The baby looked healthy in the ultrasound which helped a bit with the worry. Mari is at 6 ½ months now which is farther then she has been in any of her pregnancies. Last weekend Mark started putting the baby furniture together and I am going to start painting the nursery tomorrow._

_Jet and I are still dating. I think that this might just become a serious thing. We have been spending a lot of time together mostly just talking or going for walks around the base and in town. My brother keeps laughing every time I say I'm going out on another date with Jet. When we are not going out to eat we eat with Mark and Mari at the house. Jet was surprised to find out that I was the one cooking most of the time. Jet thinks that I am a great cook as he can't even boil water without starting a fire. I told him about how my mother and I use to cook together. We use to make meals for all the bachelors in my father's unit so that they could have some home cooking. At dinner last night Jet was over and the subject of cooking came up again which caused a minor hormonal induced fight. Mark told him that Mari can barely cook and Mari threatened to make Mark cook for a month sense he though that she was such a bad cook. Mark said fine until Mari told him that I couldn't help cook either then he got nervous and backpedaled. Jet laughed and told me that my family should go on the road with our act. Mark started to tease me about how much Jet is over for dinner and said that we might as well have him move in that he is over so much. It does seem almost like Jet is part of the family._

_March 31_

_Mark, Mari, Jet and I drove into the city for a long weekend. We all stayed at a hotel in the city as a mini vacation, it was a last hurrah before the baby is born for Mark and Mari. Mark and Mari invited Jet as a surprise for me. Mark said he had to invite him because he knew that we couldn't survive the weekend apart. I told Mark to go to hell before I hugged him and thanked him for inviting Jet. I didn't even know he was coming until about ten minutes before we left. When he showed up with a suitcase I was glad as I really didn't want to be apart even if it was only for four days. Mark let us share a room as long as we promised to behave. He told me when we got to the hotel privately that he trusted me to know my limits but to be careful. He knows very well that we are taking is semi slow and that the furthest we have gotten is heavy petting. Sometimes the fact that I talk to my brother about everything is a pain. Mark and I have always been each other's sounding boards. Even though Mark is over ten years older we have always been closer then a lot of brothers that are closer in age. Last year some guys in his unit made fun of the fact that I was around all the time and called me a dumb kid that should learn to stay with the babies at the playground. Mark told them that I was more mature and smarter than anyone in his unit and them he got them all on shitty details. _

_Tomorrow me and Jet are going to go to the history museum again, though Jet is doing under force he says. Jet told me he has learned more about history in the last month from me than from all his years in school. I laughed and told him that I have always loved history and mama used it to teach me any subject that she could. That's one of the benefits to home schooling I told him I could always spend extra time on subjects that I liked. He though that it was a good system when I told him I got out of doing math which I disliked the most, eight months out of the year. I always did it first to get it out of the way as it was too boring. While I can sit there for hours reading a history book more than an hour of math makes me fall asleep. Jet said that he hated history in school because it was all memorizing dates and people. I told him I was spoiled due to my home schooling I was my mother's only student. Jet asked why my brother wasn't home schooled and I told him that I was reading at three years old. I did try and go to public school but when my mother put my in 1st grade at five I complained about how stupid everything they made us do and I started to dread school. My parents decided to pull me out and let my mother home school me. Mama always told everyone that I could get all my work done and more as long as she let me do it in my own time. He was surprised to find out that I could read and write in eight languages and speak six languages. He knew that I could speak Italian but not about the others. I think Mark threatened Jet again about behaving this weekend because Jet walked out of their room and into ours with my brother behind him smirking and saying goodnight children._

_April 4_

_I had a lot of fun last weekend. It was also very educational in many ways. Jet told me more about his ex-wife and what happened. His wife was his high school girlfriend and he had gotten married because that was what everyone expected. He got married right after graduation a few weeks before enlisting. His wife didn't like him being a marine and being gone much of the year. I found out that she had not even bothered to move onto base until they had been married for four years. She lived in their hometown until then and just visited him on base. When she finally moved on base she stayed less then a year before filing for divorce without even telling him. He found out when he was served with the divorce papers. What a bitch. Jet admitted getting married was a mistake. He had not been in love with her; he cared about her a great deal but was never actually in love with her. He seems to feel guilty about it but from what I understand of the situation he did try to hurt her. He just caved in to both their families pressure in them to get married._

_Our second night at the hotel Jet and I had a very serious talk about sex and our relationship. I came out and confirmed that I was a virgin, he already suspected it. I told him that I had almost no experience past kissing. I had gone on a few dates in the last year and a half but it had never gone anywhere. I admitted that I was not ready for intercourse yet but did want to go further and start exploring. He promised that we could go at my pace and that he wouldn't pressure me into anything. He was willing to wait as long as it took for me to be comfortable. I told him that he had been very patient so far. I admitted that it would not be a long time wait before I was comfortable with going all the way but that I still had some fears. We did talk about the fact that this is my first serious relationship. _

_I told him that I think that I am falling in love with him but it scared me. I was scared because I had already lost my parents and my father's parents. The only ones I had left were my brother and sister-in-law. I didn't want to lose anyone else that I love. I am terrified that I will lose Jet. The fear just sits in the pit of my stomach and at times it is almost unbearable. I had told him when we met that my parents were dead but had never actually told him what happened. I told him about how my dad died during a mission overseas that my family was never told the details of what happened. I explained that my mother never really got over his death and dead a year later. The doctors told us that she died due to a brain aneurism but I know that she died of a broken heart. I explained how after my mother's death I chose to stay with Mark and Mari over going to live with my mother's parents in Pennsylvania. I explained that my mother's family had never really forgiven her for marrying my father. They thought that he was beneath her, as she came from a well to do Italian family. They tolerate Mark and me but it's not comfortable._

_Alright I need to get off the sad subjects for awhile, besides going to the museum which Jet did have fun at we went out for a nice dinner the third night. We had dinner at this romantic restaurant that had candles on the tables and music. Jet told my brother his plans before we came and Mark brought a suit for me to wear with. At dinner he gave me an ID bracelet with both our initials on it in a flowing design. After dinner Jet even danced with me knowing how much I like to dance. After we came back to the hotel we did go a little further. We started out just necking but slowly it started to change. We both had our shirts off when he went to unbutton my pants. He stopped before he did and he just stared into my eyes and he made sure that it was okay. He slipped my pants and boxers off at the same time. I went to undo his pants but my hands were trembling too much. He stilled my hands and did it himself. I looked at him and then looked at me. I could hardly breath I was caught between wanting to cover myself up and wanting to go further. Jet told me that I took his breath away and that helped the impulse to want to cover up. Well that along with me telling him that I don't know what he sees in me as I'm not nearly as good looking as him. He quickly reassured me that I am perfect and that I am extremely good looking much more than him. He moved me on to the bed and started kissing all over me body down. He hovered over my cock and looked up to make sure it was okay. He licked all around the head of my cock before sucking me down. It was the most incredible thing I had ever experienced. I didn't even last a minute before I came down his throat. I made him lay on his back so that I could explore all of him. I told him it was first time blowing anyone. I kissed the head of his cock which tasted kind of salty. I took as much as his cock into my mouth as I could. I wondered how he swallowed me but when I tried it made me gag. When he came I tried to shallow as much as I could but I didn't catch it all. I was kind of nervous and asked if that was okay and he quickly told me that it was excellent. When I woke up early the next morning Jet was laying there staring at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world. We slowly started to kiss and he reached down and took me in his hand. He pumped me slowly until I came and then slowly grinds against me until he came while kissing me. We fell asleep without cleaning up which would have been fine but my brother comes in the next morning and has to start making comments about the smell of sex in the room. I had never blushed so hard in my life. _

* * *

Author's Note:

Please give me more feedback about what you think of the story. I hope that I answered the questions that were left in the long Author's Note before Chapter 2. If they weren't answered either I missed them or they are important to the plot and will show up soon.

Give me your opinion and vote about:

1)if you want Gibbs and Tony to get right back together or not

2)if they do get together do you want an accident:) to happen right away aka another baby

3)what do you want the team's reactions to be about all this, does Kate take is good or not r(emember tonguing a guy comments that she made)


	5. The Truth is Hard to Hear

Chapter 4: The Truth is Hard to Hear

_April 15_

_My brother came home grinning yesterday and went straight to Mari to talk to her. He was acting silly and I was wondering what was going on until he told me that he had just had a nice talk with Jethro. Mark kept hinting all evening what they had talked about but he wouldn't tell what it was exactly what all they talked about. He did tell me that Jet asked for permission to take me out for dinner tomorrow evening and for me to stay out all night. Mark told Jet that it was fine. I think Jethro told Mark something about a surprise or something tomorrow. Mark is definitely hiding something big. He keeps hinting at something but he is not making any sense at all. It is driving me crazy. I am excited about tomorrow as it will be two months since we met and really are two month anniversary._

_I kind of am glad that my brother finds this so amusing he needed it. Last week Mari started to feel contractions and me and her rushed to the hospital. I keep trying to reach my brother but couldn't find him. He finally gets a message I left and rushes to the hospital in a panic not knowing what was going on. Thankfully all it was, is practice contractions that are perfectly normal and do not hurt the baby. Only two more months until the baby is born, everyone is getting so excited. The nursery is completely finished now and the baby has enough clothes to last three lifetimes. The only thing that anyone is worried about is Mari being in the house by herself close to her due date. I am sticking around the house more and making sure that I am never gone for long when Mark is not at home._

_April 18_

_I am no longer an innocent! When Jet picked me up from the house he seemed to be very nervous this got me wondering even more what was going on. We went into town to the nice hotel there and we checked in. I was very surprised to find out that we were in the honeymoon suite. I did think it was kind of fitting from my point of view as I had decided that I no longer wanted to be a virgin. Jet had the room decorated with flowers and candles. A dinner was set out for us and it was just perfect. When we sat down Jet told me that though this was a hotel room nothing had to happen we were just here for the peace and quiet. I informed him that I had decided that I no longer wanted to be a virgin and would he please take care of that fact. Jet asked me if I was sure and I told him that I was, that I had always wanted it to mean something. I am in love with him and this was something that I wanted to experience with him. We talked as we finished dinner and then for dessert Jet gave me this little cake. On top of the cake was a ring. I looked at it and then I looked at him and then back to the ring. Jet got up and came over and knelt down beside me. He said that while we had not known each other for very long, that he was in love with me and wanted to be with me forever. Jet told me that he had spoken to my brother and had gotten his blessing. He looked at me and asked for my hand in marriage. I started to cry and laugh and I could not get any words out so I just nodded. He slipped the ring on my hand and kissed me. It was the happiest moment of my life._

_After crying and laughing so more we started to move over to the bed as we helped each other undress. He told me that he had not brought any lube and I told him that there was some in my bag. He laid me down on the bed and went to the overnight bag to get the lube. He putted it on the nightstand table and told me that if I wanted to stop at anytime to just tell him. Jet laid down next to me and we just kissed for a long time. Soon he started to lick and suck my nipples as his hands caressed lower and lower. He slowly started to kiss down my torso down to my cock. He had me turn over and he kissed all down my back and shockingly didn't stop. He started to kiss my ass and then started to lick at my opening again and again. I started to relax and Jet started to thrust his tongue inside. Jet must have gotten the lube off the table without me seeing because the next thing I felt was a slick finger push inside of me. He slowly moved to two fingers which was kind of uncomfortable which made me tense up. He stopped the movement until it got better. He then touched a spot inside of me that made me feel like I was on fire. He slowly stretched me until he moved to three fingers which took me even longer to adjust. He asked me whether I wanted to be on my front or back. I turned over to lie on my back. Jet then slicked himself up and slowly pushed in about two inches. I tensed up as it did hurt but I looked into his eyes and he kissed me and the pain got better. He pushed in slowly until he was all the way inside of me. He rested a moment to let me get use to being full and asked me if I was ok. He then started to gently rock in and out of me but was gaining a little speed each time. He kept hitting that spot inside and soon any feeling but pleasure was gone. It didn't take me long to come and Jet wasn't far behind me. When he pulled out it felt like he had parked a train inside of me and I couldn't help making a little whimper and wincing as he pulled out. He quickly checked me but didn't see any blood. We fell asleep that night wrapped in each other's arms. The next morning I was still sore but I wanted to do it again. Jet was worried that I would be too sore but as sore as I was I still wanted to do it again. It was more intense because I wasn't scared anymore. _

_I didn't want to leave the hotel room but we were due to checkout and had to get back. When we got back to the house my brother barely let us get in the door before asking. I showed him the ring on my hand and Mark hugged me. He told both of us how happy he was for us and he welcomed Jethro into the family. Mark also couldn't resist a 'I told you so'. Mark said that he had seen it coming from the day that we met. Later that night after Jethro had gone home me and my brother had a talk. Mark could see how carefully I was sitting all day and wanted to make sure I was ok. He said that he was pretty sure what happened but wanted to hear it in my own words. He knew that I had been thinking of going further. Mark supported my decision but he warned me to be careful because of my age. I didn't even think about the fact that technically I was under the age of consent. Mark saw my face and asked what was wrong and I told him that I didn't want Jethro hurt just because of my age. I understand that the law is for the majority of people my age that are still children so that they will not be taken advantage of._

_April 27_

_Everything has been going well lately until this morning. I hate being sick. I picked up a stomach bug somewhere and woke up this morning sick. I almost didn't make it to the bathroom in time. When Mari founded me in the bathroom she laughed and said it was a good thing she was over her morning sickness. Mari called Mark to tell him that I was sick. Mark is so overprotective at times because I almost never get sick he wanted me into the doctor today. I started to feel better this afternoon but was still feeling tired. Mark had to bring home dinner for him and Mari because I didn't think I could cook. Jet went to the store and got me some chicken noodle soup and crackers. As soon as he heard I was sick from my brother he called to make sure I was fine this morning. He babied me all evening not letting me get up to do anything. For such a straight laced tough marine he sure is a softie at times. _

_May 1_

_Jet had to leave yesterday to go back to the base he transferred from. He was only given 18 hours notice before he had to be on the plane. He couldn't tell me much about why he has to go back but whatever is going on over there it's not pretty. All I know is that it has something to do with a threat that his team helped to deal with before. He says that it is very important. Last time I got to hear the 'this is important and I have to go for my country' speech it was my father. A month after my father left we were informed that he had died and that the events were a matter of national security. Jet was not very convincing when he told me that he will not be in any danger. We had are first argument ever about him lying to me about the danger. As I have informed him on many occasions my father was a marine and my brother is now a marine. I am not naive about the danger in their jobs. I screamed at him that I had lost my father and that I was well aware of the danger that he was walking right into. He told me that he will probably be gone for about two to three weeks and will not be able to be in contact a lot. I got Mark to put some fellers out to see if he could find anything out. Today Mark came home and told me what little he was able to find out. Jethro is being sent on a mission that has a high level need to know. I am really worried about him and what might happen. I do not know what I will do if he dies like my father did. I saw him off yesterday. We were lucky enough to have fifteen minutes in private before he shipped out. My brother said that we could go talk in his office until Jet needed to leave. Jet promised that he would come back to me. I told him that I wanted one more memory of him before he left. He barely even undressed and we used lotion for lube. I barely even let him stretch me as I could wait to get him inside of me. I just slid down on him as I kissed him. I cried softly the whole time thinking that this could be the last time we would ever make love. Almost as soon as we both had come we had to hurry and dress as it was time for him to leave. He told me that he loved me and then he got on the plane._

_May 12_

_I heard from Jet again today for the second time since he has been gone. When he called today it was not with the best of news. He won't be home for another week or so but he told me that he is fine. Everything is going fine over there he says and that it was not as bad as he though it was going to be. He told me he loved me and that he would be home before I knew it. In my opinion he can not come home soon enough so that I can know that he is safe. Mari has tried to keep me busy with going shopping for the baby and getting ready for school but it is still hard everyday. Mari asked me how long Jet and I are going to wait to have children after we get married and when are we getting married. We have talked about getting married next summer but don't have a definite date set yet. I told her that we had not talked about how long we would wait to have kids but I admitted that it would not be a very long wait. Mari said that she would be surprised if we made it a year past us getting married before I became pregnant. This conversation did make me think about the fact that we had not been using any protection so far. Mari looked at my face and asked what was wrong. I told her the truth that we had not been using protection and that I had been feeling sick but had thought that it due to worrying about Jet and having trouble getting over that stomach bug. Mari asked me why I had no told them that I was still feeling sick. Mari called her doctor and got me an appointment for tomorrow. We agreed to not say anything to Mark until I know for sure._

_May 14_

_Well its official I am knocked up. Yesterday I fell apart at the doctor's office and Mari called Mark. I felt like a little kid making Mari call my brother to hold my hand. The doctor took some blood and urine to test. The quick test came back positive. It is unusual to have a false positive. I started to cry and Mark had a hard time calming me down. I knew I was pregnant before the test came back I just had a gut feeling about it. I got knocked up before I even turned fifteen. My parents would be so disappointed in me. I made Mark and Mari promise not to tell Jethro until I am ready. The doctor wants to watch me closely due to my age. He prescribed prenatal vitamins and medicine for the morning sickness as I am getting dehydrated. The doctor also gave me a lot of information to read. This morning as I bent over the toilet it hit me that there is really a baby in there and that I am really going to have a baby. I think knowing what is causing the nausea is making it better. The doctor's office called this afternoon. The results of the blood test came in and it was positive, confirming that I am pregnant. I don't know how I am going to tell Jet. I am really terrified of his reaction. We haven't had any serious decisions about having children yet._

_May 28_

_Jet called again today and told me that he will be back definitely on June 1st. I didn't want to tell him over the phone that I was pregnant. I still don't know how to tell him that I am pregnant. Mark and Mari pointed out that it takes two to make a baby but I still am terrified of his reaction. I know how honorable he is so he won't leave but what if he really doesn't want the baby. I have only known about the baby for about two weeks and I am already in love with her. That is another worry of mine what if I am not able to carry the baby and miscarry. I was out with Mari and Mark shopping when we went into the baby section at the department store inside the mall. We all were looking at clothes and I found the cutest pink dress with flowers. Mark comes up and asks me what I am looking at. I found your niece's first dress. Mark starts laughing and asks how do you know I am going to have a niece and not a nephew. I started to blush and told him that I just know. Mari told me that it is not that unusual for the mother to know. Mari and Mark had a conversation with their eyes and then stated that it is never too early to start picking up the basics. Mark said why don't we go over to the big baby store across town. I went to put the dress back but Mark stopped me and went and bought it. We went over to the store and Mari and I looked all over. We had been there so many times but it was always to shop for their baby. Mari knew how much I liked looking at the baby clothes. They both were watching me very closely and as much as I tried not to let them see what I liked they still seemed to know and would put it in the shopping cart. When we finally went home I had a lot of clothes for the baby. My next doctor's appointment is in two days and I am going to have my first ultrasound. I should be able to see the baby's heartbeat. Mark is taking the day off and both of them are going to go with me to the appointment. _

_May 30_

_Mark, Mari and I went to the doctor's office today. Mari's appointment was first and everything still looks ok. The doctor told her that the baby has dropped and that she could go into labor now or it could be another week or two. I got to see my baby's heartbeat today. It was one of the best moments of my life to see that healthy heartbeat. I was worried that we would get here and there would not be a heartbeat. The doctor asked a lot of questions and took more blood for testing. The doctor says that my due date is around January 8th but due to my age he said that I have a higher risk of going into labor early. The doctor told me that so far everything looked good with the baby and me. He wants me to keep taking the prenatal vitamins and to be sure and get enough rest. There is still a large part of me that is still in shock that I am going to have a baby. Jet is coming home in two days and I still don't know how to tell him that I am pregnant. Another thing that we will have to talk about is whether to get married now or to wait until next summer like we had first talked about._

_June 2_

_Jet came back yesterday afternoon and I was so glad to see him. I needed to see with my own eyes that he was safe and unharmed. Today we had a cookout at the house for a late Memorial Day celebration. A lot of people came to the cookout and it was very hectic with Mari having to stay off of her feet and not being able to help. Unfortunately I was not being very careful and almost fainted. I was heading back in the house to go and get more beers from inside when I started to get dizzy. If Jet hadn't been next to me I would have fallen to the ground. Mark and Jet got me into my room and lying down on my bed. Jet was really worried and I started to cry. I just keep thinking that I was not ready to tell him that I was pregnant yet and that I just wanted one more day without stress before telling him. Mark sent Jet to the bathroom to get a cold washcloth to put on my head. While he was gone I begged Mark not to tell him yet. Jet walked back in, put the washcloth on my forehead and asked about whether they should take me to the hospital. Mark said that it wasn't necessary that my blood sugar was just low and that I had too much sun and would be fine later. He said that they should just let me get some rest and that I would be fine and if I wasn't in a little while then they would take me to the hospital. _

_I fell asleep in my room and sleep for several hours. It was almost six o'clock when I woke up. A lot of people were gone by then and only close friends were still there. Mark, Mari and Jet all asked me how I was feeling now and I told them that I felt a lot better. Mark made me eat dinner and drink some juice. Jet was acting really weird and not letting me get very close. I didn't know what was going on. Jet left kind of quickly after I woke up. He just kissed me on the forehead and said that he would call me later. The party finished up soon after that. I asked Mark if he knew what was wrong with Jet. Mark told me that some guys were ragging on Jet for robbing the cradle with me. They asked him if he couldn't find someone his own age and keep making cracks about training them young and stuff. Mark heard Jet say that I wasn't a child and that I was nearly eighteen. This got me to thinking and worrying. I didn't know if I had ever told Jet how old I actually was. Mark thought about it too and admitted he didn't know if Jet knew how old I was. We all tend to forget that I am still so young due to as my brother says me acting like I am going on thirty most days. I must admit that I even forget how old I really am. This is just wonderful another mess that I am in the middle of. _

_June 14_

_Mari went into labor yesterday and she had a precious baby girl early this morning. Mari and Mark are so happy that they are now parents. My niece is the most beautiful baby that I have ever seen before in my life. I got to stay in the room for the whole labor which was an eye opener. The thought that I will have to do this in another seven months is very scary but will be worth it, I think at least. Jet has still been acting a little weird and I still haven't told him that I am pregnant. I want to find out what is going on with him before I tell him. In the last two weeks he has seemed odd. He will be really affectionate one day and the next he will treat me like a younger brother. We have only had sex three times since he has been back. We were supposed to just hang out at his house yesterday evening so that we could talk but Mari went into labor. I am getting ready to head over to his house now and I am going to stay the night. We are going to watch a movie after we go shopping. I want to restock the house with groceries before Mari and the baby come home from the hospital._

_June 20_

_The last several days have been eventful and worrying. On the 14th after we sat down to watch the movie I feel asleep and didn't wake up until the next day. We both went with Mark to bring Mari and the baby home from the hospital. They decided to name her Sara Anne. I was surprised because I thought that they were going to name her after mama. They told me that they had decided to name her Sara instead of Julia because they knew that her cousin's name should be Julia. Mark knew that I had always planned on naming my first daughter after mama. Jet stayed over at the house that night but we didn't really get a chance to talk. A few nights ago on the seventeenth Mark woke me less than an hour after I had gone to bed to tell me that he had to take Mari to the hospital that she had started bleeding again. I was so worried about Mari. I knew that she had had some problems with bleeding right after the birth but we all thought that it had all been taken care of. I had to stay here with Sara Anne. I had to call Jet at two in the morning because she was hungry. Mari had decided to breastfeed and there was no formula in the house. Jet ran into town to the closest all night drugstore for me and brought me some bottles and formula. He stayed at the house with me that night and the next night and helped me take care of the baby. That first night I did get a chance to ask him about wanting children. Jet said that he would like some kids in a few years. I started to bring up the subject of having children sooner than a few years from now. Jet said that we really should wait to discuss this until we get married. Before I could respond Mark called from the hospital to say that they were admitting Mari to the hospital. Mari had to stay in the hospital for two days before the doctor's released her. She was so happy to be home with her daughter but she has to take it extra easy for a little while longer. I am going to Jet's again tonight so that we can talk tonight and tomorrow before he has to work in the afternoon._

_July 1_

_Jet is gone. He has left me. He just left without looking back without any care for me or what this is doing to me. I don't understand how he could do this to me. I thought that he loved me. Is there just something about me that does not allow for happiness? When I got to his house that night he acted like his old self and we made love on his bed before falling asleep. When we woke up in the middle of the night we made love again tenderly. I didn't notice anything wrong at all. I woke up that morning all alone without him anywhere. He left me a note, a stupid, little note without bothering to tell me himself. After I read it I just there on the bed crying until I started to get sick. I ended up in the bathroom in front of the toilet for hours crying. My brother found me there later on that day. Someone had called him to fix a problem even though he is one leave. When he told them to call Jethro they informed him that Jet had transferred to another base effective this morning. Mark told them to call someone else and then came here to look for me. He knew the minute that he heard about the transfer that something was really wrong. Mark found me in the bathroom sobbing still clutching the note that Jet had left me. Mark got me up and dressed and he took me home. When we walked through the door Mari put Sara Anne in her cradle and helped Mark to get me cleaned up and into my bedroom. I spent the next two days crying while Mark tried to find out where Jet had gone in between taking care of me, Sara and Mari. _

_I started having cramps and they had to take me to the hospital. I was terrified that now I was going to lose the baby just like I had just lost Jet. I didn't think that I could survive if I lost the baby. At that moment it was the only thing keeping me grounded. I had to stay in the hospital for five days due to the cramps, my low and high blood pressure and my dehydration but I didn't lose the baby. I spent my fifteenth birthday in the hospital mostly scared out of my mind worrying about losing the baby. When I got out of the hospital I told Mark to stop looking for Jet. I said if Jet wanted to leave and if he didn't really love me then it was better that he was gone. Then I started to sob and Mark just sat there and held me like he use to do right after our parents died. I don't know how I am going to do this by myself but I do not have any choice that is acceptable for me. I called the University and talked to admissions I am going to take some independent study courses this fall and will start full time next fall maybe. _

Jethro's vision started to become blurry as he read how Julian had felt when he had left all those years ago. Jethro knew then for the first time that he had made the wrong decision back then. The guilt that he had always felt since he first learned of Julian's age was now being replaced by the guilt he felt at abandoning Julian when he was pregnant. As he had went to turn the page to start reading again a sheet of crumpled paper fell out of the journal and on to the ground. Jethro picked it up and look at it in shock. The crumpled tearstained much read sheet was his note to Julian all those years ago. He felt guilty as he reread those words written so long ago.

_Jules,_

_I have to go now. I have been reassigned and I feel it is for the best. You are too young and I am too set in my ways. I love you but I have to go. You need to find someone your own age. I should have stopped this the moment I found out how old you really were. While you never directly lied to me you knew that I thought that you were eighteen. Yes I know now that you are only fourteen I am assuming that is the important matter you need to talk to me about. I do love you but I have to go._

_Love,_

_Jethro Gibbs_

He looked at the Journal again knowing that it still held answers to questions that he wanted to know but he knew it also held more guilt for him. He would have to live with the choices that he made and live with the fact that his choices affected more than just him. Jethro turned to the next page in the Journal to continue reading of Julian's pregnancy.

* * *

Author's Note:

Those of you that believe MPREG and SLASH are sick and immoral please just stop reading my story!

Thank you for the Feedback so far. Please give me more feedback about what you think of the story. Check the Author's note first before asking questions.If they weren't answered either I missed them or they are important to the plot and will show up soon.

Give me your opinion and vote about:

1)If you want Gibbs and Tony to get right back together or not? (So far everyone who has voted is infavor of their getting back together.)

2)If they do get together do you want an accident:) to happen right away aka another baby? (Split half and half right now.)

3)Who if anyone do you want to react bad about their past/future relationship?

4)Would you prefer longer chapters or shorter ones that are updated more frequently?


	6. A Time of Joy and Sorrow

Chapter 5: A Time of Joy and Sorrow

_July 17_

_I am official in my second trimester now and am three months pregnant. I got to hear the baby's heartbeat again at the doctor's office. It sounded very fast and strong. The doctor says that the baby seems to be doing well and that I am doing okay but he does have a few concerns. The doctor is concerned by the lack of weight gain so far. Since my first appointment with him I have lost five pounds and was slightly underweight to begin with. My doctor wants me to gain at least two pounds before the next visit. My latest urine sample came back abnormal again so the doctor took more blood. My blood sugar levels also are slightly concerning him and I will have to come in for weekly lab tests and I will be required to test at home. He thinks that I might have gestational diabetes but it normally does not show up this soon. That could cause harm to the baby and me if I am not careful. I have been very careful about what I have been eating but have had problems with my appetite. I just have not seemed to be hungry lately. The doctor gave me a list of things to eat that should help with the weight gain._

_Sara Anne is now five weeks old and is as cute as a button. She is a good sleeper once she is asleep but she is wearing out Mari and Mark. She will not go to sleep for Mark at all and even Mari has problems sometimes. I have gotten up several times in the middle of the night when he cannot get her back to sleep. Last night neither of them could get her back to sleep and eventually broke down and woke me up. I got her to sleep within ten minutes by singing and rocking her. The books that I have been reading say that a baby can sense when you are tired and frustrated and this causes them to have trouble falling asleep. I think that is one of the reasons that she falls asleep for me. This time next year her cousin will be about six or seven months old or so. I can't wait. I have been thinking about names but have gotten stuck on a middle name for my baby. The doctor told me today that I should bring my fiancé to the next appointment so that he could see the baby. I kept it together long enough to get out of the doctor's office but broke down crying in the car on the way home. Mark has become angrier at Jet in the last few days as he sees how bad I have been feeling. A few times he has caught me looking at the ring on my finger and sobbing. I still can not understand why he left me and why he did not even bother to say goodbye in person. I gave him all of me and he just left._

_August 9_

_I am now four months into my pregnancy. I felt the baby move for the first time today and I wanted to tell Jet so bad. Without thinking after I felt her kick I went to the phone to call Jet. I had only dialed two numbers when it hit me that I could not call him. He was gone and I didn't even have a way to contact him. I do not even know if I would have told him even if I did have a number for him. I do not know if he would have even cared. It has been over a month and it still hurts as bad as it did that first day. A little six months ago Jethro Gibbs came into my life and changed it forever. I will always have a reminder of him and I am both thankful and hate him for that. _

_Everything still looks good with the baby but they are still watching my sugar levels closely. My readings have been bouncing between too high and too low. I am a pound heavier that I was the first time I saw the doctor. He still thinks that I should be gaining more weight and that I should have gained about eight to twelve pounds already. The doctor is putting me on a high calorie diet to help me to gain more weight._

_The shit had hit the fan with my mother's relatives. The DiNozzo's found out that I am pregnant and are not happy about it. For them it is bad enough that I refused to move to Pennsylvania when our parents died and play uptown boy but now I am unmarried and knocked up. My mother's brother called to find out if we all were going to his daughter's wedding in October. I told him that I did not know if my doctor would want me traveling then as I will be starting my third trimester about then. He started asking questions about why I was not married yet or had the problem taken care of if I was so stupid as to get knocked up. Then he started to question me about the baby's father and who his family was. The only thing that I would tell him was that the baby's father was a marine. They still have not gotten over the fact that my mother married my father as they saw him as inferior to her. After I got off the phone he called Mark to ask what was going on and about how he could allow me to get in such a position._

_August 29_

_The ultrasound showed that I was right and that the baby is a girl. I am going to have a daughter. The ultrasound showed that she is developing wonderfully and that there does not seem to be any problems with her. The doctor is still concerned about my lack of weight gain to his specifications. I am only up five pounds total from the beginning of my pregnancy. My blood sugar levels seem to be a little better at the last appointment. My blood pressure has been going too low now and the doctor took me off the medicine that he had me on. The doctor advised me to keep my stress levels low and I started to laugh. I explained that my stress levels are not going to go down that I am going to be a single parent and while my family would help it was still all on me. I am scared to death that I am going to mess this child up with all of my problems. What am I thinking bring another life into this world when I cannot even keep my own live together? _

_My fingers have been swollen lately and today I had to take off my engagement ring. When I slipped it off my finger I broke down completely and couldn't stop crying. I miss Jet everyday and it does not seem to be getting any better. Some days it hurts worse than the first day after he left me. I do not understand why he left me. I didn't tell Mark and Mari but I found out where Jet transferred to and I know how to reach him now. I do not know what to do. Even if he does not love me he has a right to know that he is going to be a father. There is a large part of me that is terrified to tell him that I am pregnant because at least now I can honestly tell her that her father has no knowledge of her. I have no clue what I will say to my daughter if I do tell Jet and he wants nothing to do with her. I also have so many questions that I want to ask him about why he left and if he really did care about me or if I was just a piece of ass._

_September 23_

_I am almost six months pregnant now and I am feeling every bit of it. Between having to run to the bathroom every hour to pee and the swollen ankles this is not always fun. Sometimes all I can think and wonder is was a few minutes of pleasure worth all this discomfort. Of course whenever I think that the little princess kicks extra hard and reminds me why I am going through all this discomfort. The doctor is thrilled with all the weight that I am now gaining but I feel like a blimp. Since my morning sickness has left which I am grateful for I have been packing on the pounds. In the last four weeks I have gained almost ten pounds making my total weigh gain fifteen pounds. Mari laughs at me when I complain about how fat I am. She reminds me that she had gained over twenty pounds when she was at the six month mark. I have started to plan out what I am going to do once the baby is born. Mark and I started talking to a lawyer to see if I can get into my trust fund early. If I can I seriously am considering staying home for the first year and then only going part time to college after that. I do not want to miss anything and since it is only going to be me I want to make sure my baby wants for nothing. Sarah Anne is getting so big now and is developing even more of a personality. She is so funny and easy going the majority of the time and is even sleeping through the night the majority of the time which is pleasing her parents very much._

_October 16_

_I received good news from the lawyer. My trust fund will be released to me next week in its entirety. The judge that we went in front of found me to be mature enough to handle the money. The judge did not look down on me for being pregnant and unwed. I think it helped that I could honestly say that I was engaged to be married before I became pregnant and that my brother, sister-in-law and niece will be there as a support system. I think that the judge also felt back for me because I am going it alone. My doctors appointments have been going well and I seem to be about the same. My health is not the best and this pregnancy has not been the easiest but I am surviving. I had to be rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night last week. I had cramping and I started to bleed. They were able to stop the bleeding but I had to stay in the hospital for two days. I honestly thought that I was going to lose my daughter. If she was born now she would have only a little chance at survival. I do not care what happens to me as long as she is healthy. I know that if I was to die that Mark and Mari would raise her as their own child if Jet didn't want her. I had a will drawn up and signed a few days ago to make sure that my daughter will be protected._

_I went into town today to get out of the house and to do something besides staring at the wall. I went to the bookstore and bought more child development books and some language and history books that I had been wanting. As I was looking around the book store to see if anything caught my eye I walked past the wedding books. I realized that it was eight months ago today that I meet Jethro Gibbs. My fingers are still swollen most of the time so I have been wearing my engagement ring on a chain around my neck. After looking at the wedding books for a few minutes I came to the realization that I will probably never get married. I don't think that I have it in me to let anyone get that close to me again. Even if I still had it in me to have another relationship a young single parent with a child is not really a catch in the dating game. Mark has stopped saying that it will get better as it is not helping my mood at all. I seem to spend my time either crying or yelling at everyone. If Jet would show up tomorrow and apologize I would get back together with him in an instant. I still love him even though I am angry as hell at him for leaving me and our daughter even though he did not know of his daughter._

_November 17_

_I am in the hospital again. I was admitted four days ago. My blood pressure spiked again and combined with my diabetes the doctors are very concerned about me and the baby. At my last appointment my doctor thought that I was starting to go into labor. He admitted me that afternoon to the hospital so that they could keep a closer watch on me and to stop the contractions. The medicine seemed to be helping for a few days but the doctors are still worried. Yesterday the decision was made to deliver the baby early. They put me on some drugs, steroids that should help her lungs to develop more quickly. The doctors feel with the preclampsia, gestational diabetes, and the contractions and with my age that it would be better for her if she was born sooner. Right now she does not seem to be in distress but the doctors cannot get my blood pressure down. The medication that they gave me to stop my contractions is racking havoc with my blood pressure and my blood sugar levels. They took another ultrasound today to make sure that everything is okay with the baby and everything looks fine. Even though I have not gained as much weight as the doctors would like my daughter seems to weight about four pounds making her a very good size baby. When the doctor's looked at this ultrasound they said that she should be fine. _

_I had another one of those days when all I want is for Jet to be here. I want him here to wrap me up in his arms and tell me everything is going to be okay. He should be here worrying about his baby to instead of being far away from here. He is going to miss the birth of his daughter and there is a part of me that will never forgive him. I still love him but I am also very angry with him for treating me this way. If he wanted to leave that is one thing but to leave without telling me goodbye in person is another. What he did was wrong. It was without regard for my feelings. I am still wearing my ring around my neck. I am going to have to make some decisions about how I will deal with the questions about her father. She will want to know where he is and why he is not her with us._

_November 22_

_At 10:58pm Julia Elizanne Gibbs Mallory was born at a health four pounds six ounces and over sixteen inches long with an agar score of 8/9. She is doing excellent for a preemie and is not having any major problems. Her breathing has been doing terrific and she has had little trouble with maintaining body temperature. Julia is able to feed without any problems for her. I have found out that breast feeding comes with its own share of difficulties. The doctors say that she might be able to be released from the hospital in four more days if she keeps doing so well. The only problem that Julia has encountered at all was that she had a touch of jaundice right after she was born. She has beautiful dark blond tuffs of hair and has these amazing blue eyes. Her eyes look exactly like Jethro's. She is the most beautiful baby that I have ever seen in my entire life. I wish that Jethro was here to see what a wonderful and precious baby girl that we made together. When the doctors had to rush me in for an emergency c-section four nights ago I wanted him to be here with me so bad. I gave Mark the number that I had for Jethro and I made Mark promise to call him if I was to die. I wanted my daughter to have a chance to be raised by at least one of her parents. The surgery went fine and we both made it through without difficulty. When they put her in my arms it was the most wonderful experience of my life. My first gaze into her eyes was the most powerful thing that I had ever experienced including her conception. At the same time I knew something or someone was missing from this moment._

Jethro reread the words that Julian had written about their daughter's birth. He wished with everything inside of him that he could have been there to see her be born. He regretted that he had not been there to help and support Julian throughout the pregnancy. Jethro could understand Julian's fears about telling him about the baby. He did leave, abandoning him without even telling Julian goodbye in person. Every word that he had read made him fall in love with Julian all over again. He wanted to meet his daughter and build a relationship with her but he also wanted a relationship with Julian again.


	7. Congratulations

Author's Notes: Sorry this part took so long. I was injured in January and my ability to type was greatly reduced. I am still not up to speed but though that you all would like the next part even if it is short.

Chapter 6: Congratulations it's a (Coffee Drinking) Girl

As Jethro put the journal down on the table he heard his front door opening upstairs, followed by a lot of shuffling and foot steps. He couldn't believe his ears he thought he heard Tony telling someone to wait right there and that he would be right back.

Tony walked down the stairs into the basement and saw Jethro standing next to his worktable with his back to him. Tony took a deep breath before speaking. "Julia is upstairs and she would like to meet you. I would suggest bribing her with a cup of coffee to be nice. She has learned way too much about the whole situation from Mark and unfortunately she inherited other traits from you besides a coffee addiction." Tony said in a level tone of voice trying not to show any emotion.

Jethro turned around slowly and looked at Tony thinking how stupid he had been. How had not known that Tony was Julian, Tony when he wasn't putting on an act, acted just like Julian. He had not grown very much taller than he was as a teenager and his hair was only slightly darker. A lot of things that Tony had said and done since he had hired him in Baltimore made a lot more sense now.

Tony stood there with his heart racing as he faced Jethro down in the basement. Julia had known something was up the minute he had gotten to the hospital after he found out that she was going to be fine. After getting her home he had stopped at Gibb's house to drop off the letter and diary before running to the store and pharmacy. Julia had badgered him for over three hours after getting back from the store before he finally caved in and told her what was wrong. She was shocked to hear that her father finally knew about her and she demanded to go and meet him right away. Tony had not been able to think of any good excuses for why this was a really bad idea that Julia hadn't shoot down with 10 seconds. As they had driven over there Tony had tried to make some justifications for why Jethro had acted like he did sixteen years ago.

Jethro looked at Tony trying to get up the courage to speak and trying to come up with something to say. "I don't know what to say but to say that I am sorry. I… umm…" Jethro started to say before Tony cut him off. "We will have that conversation later if at all. I would suggest going and talking to your daughter before she has anymore time to think. Take coffee with you as it will buy you some lessening of hostility." Tony said quickly trying to control his emotions and heart which was aching to be with Jethro again. A very large portion of him had not changed from that 15 year old boy who woke up to find his fiancé gone who wished with all his heart that this was just some bad dream.

Jethro looked at Tony for another minute then nodded and walked past him to go up stairs. He stopped in the kitchen to get two large mugs of coffee then steeled his nerves and walked out into the living room. There sitting on his couch was a teenage girl with a cast on her arm and her ankle wrapped up in ace bandages. What shocked him the most was when she turned to look at him, he saw his own eyes staring back at him. Tony had told him in the letter that she had his eyes but in person it was unbelievable how much she resembled him but at the same time looked a lot like Julian. Julia raised an eyebrow at him and looked him over as he stood there in shock. He handed her the mug of coffee and then sat down at the other end of the couch and faced her.

"So… you're the bastard that left before I was born and broke mama's heart. My Uncle Mark told me all about you and how you shattered mama and almost destroyed him when he was pregnant with me. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Julia asked mockingly. Jethro took a deep breath before starting. "First thing is that I never knew that he was pregnant when I left. If I had known I would not have left him or you. Second I left because I though that was the right thing to do. I had no clue how old Julian was when we got involved until we were already engaged. I had thought that he was about eighteen until a picnic at your Uncle's house when some guys from the unit were ragging on me about robbing the cradle. I found out that day that he was fourteen and I was disgusted with myself. Fourteen was too young, still just a child and it was against the law and immoral. I fought my conscious about what to do and I decided it would be best if I left because I knew I could not stay because if I did I would not be able to stay away from him no matter how old he was. I loved him more than anyone I have ever known or been involved with. I honestly thought at the time I was doing the right thing both for him and me."

Julia just looked at him as he finished. She took a sip of coffee and was surprised at the fact that it was strong enough for her. She looked at him intently trying to see if he was telling the truth. "Do you still think that you made the right decision to leave back then?" Julia asked. Hoping that she knew what his answer would be but still scared because she knew her life was going to change one way or another. "No, I don't. I missed out on your life so far and to this day I still have not found anyone that I loved as much as Julian. I should have told him that I knew about his age and talked with him instead of leaving. At the time I though that he had intentionally mislead me about his age but now I know that he did not. That makes a big difference about how I feel about the situation back then. If I had known that then I might not have left." Jethro replied honestly as she deserved.

"Ok, I have just three more major questions for you." Julia told Jethro. "First, do you still love him?" Julia asked quite bluntly. "Yes, I do still love him. I have always thought about him and in the last few years I have felt quite guilty because 'Tony' reminded me so much of Julian." Jethro told her. Julia looked at him smiling slightly happy with the answer, thinking okay only one more hard question to go. "Second question, do you want to be part of my life? I have been without a father so far and I can live without one but I would like to see what having one is like." Julia asked. Jethro was shocked he though that she would never want him as part of her life. "Yes, I would like to be part of your life." Julia smiled brightly and then got an impish look on her face before asking her final question. "So, what kind of hicks were my grandparents for them to name you Leroy Jethro?" Jethro knew at that moment that there was more of Julian in her then him. "I was born in West Virginia and Leroy was your grandfather's name and Jethro was your great-grandfather's name I was named after them." Jethro told his laughing daughter. Julia grinned and laughed for a few more minutes before telling Jethro. "Show me where the coffee pot is, I need some more and your telephone, then go downstairs. I believe you need to have a discussion with mama that has been waiting sixteen years."


End file.
